Before the Dawn
by Major Wes Janson
Summary: After a year apart, and reunited during their darkest hour, things are different now. Two people walk into a bar...


Authors Notes: I tend to rely heavily on exposition and dialogue in my stories, so I decided to see what would happen if I wrote one entirely without dialogue. Takes place between Repiloting and Intro to Teaching. Not beta-d so any mistakes are mine.

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They met up unexpectedly at the bar Britta was tending. Jeff had gone out of curiosity, to see the place and needle Britta. Annie had gone to get away from the apartment and cool down after the latest argument over rent and the food budget. As usual, Troy was taking Abed's side, so she simply left.

Running into each other was awkward at first. They had tried to keep in touch after he had graduated early, but Jeff had quickly been consumed with the sheer workload of setting up his own practice; without him at Greendale to rein her in, she had thrown herself into her studies harder than before. Finding out that neither had achieved their goals was a painful shock for both of them after the surprise of the events at Greendale wore off.

Seeing each other in the cluttered study room was complicated as well, though both masked it as well. He was hiding the truth of his return, and the presence of his old friends layered on the guilt of the actions he was doing for Alan. She hung back from the group hug, not sure where they stood. Regardless of their unresolved history (Britta had tried to set her up on a couple of dates over the prior year, but she had turned them all down), Annie was nervous, afraid that he would be disappointed that she had failed, become a jaded pill and pen pushing drone despite her ambitions and his encouragements over the years.

Britta had rolled her eyes in annoyance at seeing Jeff walk into the bar, but then smiled, and directed him to the end where Annie was nursing a scotch that was honestly out of her budget. The ice broke when he quirked an inquisitive eyebrow at the drink, identical to the one Britta brought him without his having to order. Annie blushed and admitted that she had acquired the taste so long as she stuck to the brands he had introduced her. Her own adventures in finding different, cheaper, flavors had universally resulted in drinks that tasted like bog. Privately she surmised that she only liked the types of scotch that she did was because of their association with Jeff.

Of course his ego got involved, and he had proclaimed that her approval of the flavors proved that he had excellent taste. In revenge, Annie had Britta make them a pair of Appletinis and giggled at Jeff's expression of disgust as he downed the fruity drink at her command.

They settled into neutral small talk, with Britta occasionally chiming in during moments when she was at their end of the bar. They discussed Chang and his cardboard home on campus, whether it was a step or step down from the ventilation shafts or the utility room he had burned down. As the evening moved on, and a few more drinks were consumed (though no more appletinis) they moved on to more serious topics, catching up on the past year. Mutually, they discussed their friends rather than themselves, not ready to open up those wounds.

Jeff told Annie about how he knew Shirley's business had started to have problems after Pierce had dropped off the grid, but he hadn't known that it had failed or that Andre had left again. He left out the part about how he had been so busy trying to set up a meager clientele that he had turned Shirley over to a business law specialist rather than continue to help her himself.

Annie talked about the antics of Troy and Abed, her annoyance with them temporarily soothed by alcohol and Jeff's presence. When Britta was out of earshot, she told him of how Troy had not dealt with his breakup with Britta as well as it seemed, regretting it now. As a result, he clung even tighter to Abed. As for Abed, Jeff tried not to cringe when he found out that their little spat over the commercial for his firm had put the other man off of doing any sort of film work for a while. Annie didn't bring up the fact that neither of the two were currently working, leaving her to support the three on her income alone.

Britta informed them of what she had been up to, bragging about her small successes in counseling various bar patrons, managing to go one for four of talking people out of suicide. Jeff and Annie both congratulated her on that small victory, even as they both noticed the bartender's small mentions of having lost her cats and not replaced them, and brittle cheer when talking about several short term boyfriends and one night stands. Neither failed to notice that the woman tended to gravitate to their end of the bar whenever the two were talking about Troy.

Annie was grateful when Jeff announced he was hungry, and ordered a greasy platter of appetizers. She had skipped dinner due to the fight, and had spent the cash she had on drinks already. She felt slightly guilty about taking advantage of Jeff continuing to order their drinks, when he was probably in as bad financial shape, so she neglected to call him out when he mocked Britta for being timid around the fried meats as she delivered their food.

Jeff had noticed how bare her wallet was a few rounds back, and while he was pushing his own budget, he didn't miss the spark of gratitude in her eyes when he made the food order after hearing her stomach rumble. He picked at a few things on the tray, resolving to do extra crunches tomorrow, and refrained from making even gentle jokes at the determination Annie was using the attack the cheap wings and onion petals while he fended off her attempts for the celery he had claimed all of.

Slowly the crowd cleared out, and eventually Britta was forced to come over and tell them that they would be closing shortly. Barely sleepy, despite the late (early now) hour, Jeff found himself reluctant to separate from either of them, not wanting to face his empty apartment right now. He offered for the three of them to continue at a different bar that was still open, but Britta and Annie turned down that suggestion. He offered up his own stock of alcohol at home in the vain hope that they would not split up, and was surprised when Annie gave him a hesitant look that changed to consideration, and she accepted, announcing she didn't want to deal with the wonder twins and their planned Scrubs marathon just yet. Britta glanced between the two with a calculating look, at how both were trying so hard to appear calm that they were nervously shifting in place. Finally she told the duo to have fun, but that she needed to get to sleep before the opening shift tomorrow.

Annie started walking to her car, but wobbled and would have fallen if Jeff didn't catch her. She frowned at the thought of how much she had drank, then opened her phone to call a taxi, yet another expense she really couldn't afford. Before she could dial, Jeff offered to give her a ride. Annie expressed hesitation that he had drank just as much as she had, but he pointed out that not only had he built up more of a tolerance, he was also twice her size, so by math, it affected him less. She huffed at his amused jab about her height, but after he demonstrated he could walk in a straight line to her satisfaction and offered to help her recover her car later, she agreed that he could drive her to his apartment.

They chatted amiably on the drive over, with Jeff discussing how the Dean is "training" him to be a teacher, and has become obsessed with Microsoft Excel. Anne preens when he comments on how she looks good in her slacks and jacket combo, and gently pokes him when he calls her little miss professional. Both hesitated when he parks in front of his building, neither sure if what they are doing is just hanging out as friends, or if her coming over for drinks means _coming over for drinks_. They still had that undercurrent of tension between them, a sense of unresolution. Maybe the chance meeting at the bar was destined to happen. But even thinking about it made both drop into an awkward silence on the way upstairs.

Jeff fumbled with the lock while Annie shifted her weight from foot to foot, then the door clicked open and he waved her inside. He gestured for her to take the couch with a touch of embarrassment; its one of the few pieces of furniture in the place. As he went to the liquor cabinet, she looked around at his home, comparing it to her last memory of being here. Before, the place was impersonal but furnished. Now it looked like it had passed spartan and was making its way to being barren. A questioning glance at him had Jeff give a grim nod, and Annie's heart sank to see that he has fallen just as far as she and all the others have. The realization cast a pall over her heart.

A second glance has her notice a detail she missed on first inspection. She can't believe she didn't notice, it was practically the only spot of color in the room. The gauzy purple curtain she had hung above his window during their attempt to schmooze Professor Cornwallis was still hanging. She didn't even remember leaving it here, but Jeff had left it up, her little touch to his place to liven it up. Even as the other pieces of nice furniture were removed and sold off to make ends meet, he had left the curtain with its girlish color alone. It was too much for Annie, and she broke into tears.

Jeff didn't understand her sudden outburst, but quickly set down the drinks he had been pouring for them and joined her on the couch, wrapping his arms around her. She looked up at his face, and seeing the concern in his eyes, buried her face in his chest and clung to him as her tears become sobs. Here, in his arms, she finally felt safe enough to let out the pain and depression and sorrow of the past year, of the feeling that everything was going wrong and she had no idea how to fix it. Jeff didn't know how to respond, so merely held her tightly as she clung to him in desperation as her grief poured out.

Annie knew she should feel embarrassed about losing it in front of him, but as her outburst faded into hiccups, she didn't. The entire time he had just held her quietly, letting her get it all out. Her now red rimmed eyes met his, and there was not judgment or mockery there, merely a question as to what made her break down like she did. She took a deep breath and told him.

She told him about how the group had started to lose direction after he and Pierce graduated. How she had thrown herself into her studies, taking a few more forensic classes, but the majority of her classes prior meant she ended up with a med administration degree. How she tried to find a good job helping people, but her history as an Adderall addict and the lack of prestige of the Greendale name shut doors in her face. How in desperation, she ended up working for a pharmaceutical company, passing out pens and advertising their drugs because she needed the job. How with Britta gone, Troy latched onto Abed even more, ignoring his own repair talents and not bothering to go out and find work for himself. How when Abed decided to try programming instead, she was left paying the bills for three people. And worst of all, how as the stress built up and she started sinking into depression, she started taking some of the Relaxabrex samples she distributed, and that though she slavishly stuck to the official dosing regimen, she felt like a failure for falling back on pills to keep her going.

She wasn't sure what to expect from Jeff as she revealed how bitter and jaded she had become, how she had lost the idealism that he had tried so hard to protect. She had no right to dump her issues on him, especially now, like this. She waited uncertainly for him to respond, taking comfort at least in the fact that he still held her and had not pushed her away.

Quietly, Jeff started talking about whet he himself had gone through. The hassle of setting up his own practice. The decision to try to help good people rather than the scum that he used to represent. The weeks trying to drum up clients and boredom as he had no work or cases to argue, leaving him with endless paperwork and bills. Seeing Alan or other more unethical lawyers on the other side the few times he did have a client. And the loneliness that he had burned his bridges with his old law friends, while he avoided his family at Greendale with the idea that they were moving on with their lives and a failing lawyer would just hold them back.

Annie sat quietly as he told her his own tale of woe, feeling his voice rumble through his chest as he spoke. She was disappointed that he had not succeeded, but she pointed out that he had tried his hardest to do the right thing. She also mentioned that even now, despite the brief temptation to tear down Greendale with a lawsuit of his own, he had decided instead to become a teacher and push everyone, even the Dean, to make things better. She was proud of him.

Jeff felt the tension in his chest dissipate as she gave him an approving smile, forgiving him for his brief attempt to turn the group to the dark side again. It meant everything to him that despite the misery of the last year, she still believed in him. That one person thought he was a good man, even if Jeff himself did not. And he admitted that the one thing that had kept him going, kept him from going back to his old ways and representing anyone who could pay, was the thought of disappointing her. It had kept him going until he had literally nothing else left, even the scotch taken right out of his hand. The alcohol had dulled the pain and worry, his 'source of power', but it was the thought of Annie that had kept him trying.

Listening to that admission, Annie had a realization of her own. Long ago, she had dismissed what she felt for him as merely being in love with the idea of being loved, that it was something to grow past. She had realized it was not fair to try to change people merely to fit her expectations and make her happy. But she had changed him. Jeff had come to Greendale a shallow jerk whose goal was to breeze through and go back to his old life. But Annie and his other friends had changed him, and the good person she saw deep inside of him was allowed to come out. It had been a year, and she expected that he still was going to act shallow, or be a jerk at times, but Jeff now tried to do the right thing, rather than just take the easy way through life. And for Annie, that was her victory. While her own life was basically a mess, she could take solace in the fact that she had helped make Jeff into a better man. She had helped at least one person in this world.

She had changed him, and she needed him. She didn't need his love to prove that she _could_ be loved, he was proof that she could help people, that she could accomplish something that _mattered_.

She had changed him, and he needed her. Despite all he had done and said, she still believed in him as a good person. That belief was proof that he could be more, that he was not destined to end up like Alan or his father, the way Jeff had always feared would be his fate.

No matter what else, what other feelings, they worked well as a team, complemented each other and pushed each other to bigger and better things. She had encouraged (and sometimes nagged) him to not take the easy way out. He had provided her a stable rock when she needed it. Without saying the words, they both realized they needed each other, and that the past year of separation was a mistake.

As for what they were, now, however, that was an unknown. Annie was not as young as she had been, and her idealism had been tarnished by confrontation with the real world. She understood love a little better now, that it was not perfect or simple. And she knew that what she felt was not a mere crush or a simple desire to be loved by someone.

Jeff had confronted his father and made it a year without falling back into his old sleazy ways. He had been briefly tempted, but overcame. There was hope that he could be more, that he was not destined to disappoint and break hearts, leaving behind a wife and son to pick up the pieces of his disappearance.

She had wanted him for selfish reasons. He had resisted out of fear, for himself and for her. Now, as they sat together on a cheap couch in an empty apartment, both felt as if they had finally moved past all of that. They had opened up to one another, exposed their vulnerabilities in a way that made now feel more intimate than all but one other moment.

Annie turned her head, and like then, slowly drifted closer until their lips met. After a hesitant kiss, she drew back and waited for Jeff to respond. They weren't in front of the library in formal clothes, but partially entwined on a couch, therefore the separation was a far smaller distance. The look in her eyes was identical though, a mix of nervousness that she had been too forward, and invitation for him to respond. And like before, he did. He pulled her back to him as they kissed again, one of energy and longing and resolution.

They broke apart after a minute, gasping for breath. Still feeling the alcohol and passion of the moment, and having shifted to basically be sitting on his lap sometime during the kiss, Annie wanted more, and began trying to pull off a shirt. She wasn't sure if it was hers or his, merely that she grabbed a handful of fabric and tried to pull it up to expose more skin. Jeff halted her, and her eyes blazed. He was not going to try to brush this off.

She wasn't going to let him do that again, and angrily told him as much. He merely chuckled and kissed her again, slow and full of promise. He pointed out that if she truly wanted this, he was tired of pretending he didn't. But also tonight may not be the ideal time, between the drink and emotional exhaustion of baring their souls earlier. He wanted the first time to be special, showing each other what they meant to one another, the passionate crescendo to an evening. Not a frantic affair mostly about desperate catharsis and excitement that they were finally owning up to their feelings. She didn't need to be in a hurry, because he wasn't planning on changing his mind, or intending on letting her back out either. And Jeff wasn't planning on it being merely a one night affair. Plus, he admitted sheepishly, he didn't have any condoms.

The last admission, delivered deadpan after the sultry rumble of his explanation, sent Annie into a fit of giggles. She let go of what turned out to be his shirt, tipping over to lay on the couch. Her agreement that it better not be only one night was interrupted when she yawned, and was forced to admit that he had a point. The moment was gone, and she reluctantly agreed that it would mean more if it happened when they weren't tired and half drunk with the weight of their recent confessions hanging over them. Still, Annie felt regret that tonight was not going to be the one where she made love to him, finally experiencing the feel of his hands and lips on her skin, of him inside her, of their sweaty bodies pressed together. At least the knowledge that it was finally going to happen (and soon, she insisted to his amusement) set up a warm buzz of anticipation in her belly.

After a long period of a more comfortable silence, Jeff stood up and reached out to pull her up off the couch as well. Annie wondered if he was going to drive her home, but he shook his head. Not unless she wanted him to. It was getting late though, and he intended to get some sleep if she would care to join him. She pointed out that she didn't have anything to sleep in, as she wasn't going to sleep in her clothes. He suggested that she could sleep naked, that he could restrain himself. She poked him and retorted that she was not going to give him a show unless he fully intended to make it worth her while. If he happened to sleep in the buff normally, though, she wasn't going to stop him. It wouldn't be the same though; she had already seen everything he had to offer.

Jeff stared at her, surprised by the comment and the saucy tone it was delivered in. Annie merely stuck out her tongue at him, and he bent over to capture it with his own. Again, they broke apart, and Annie reminded him that it was his idea to wait. They moved apart, and as he moved to put away the drinks that he had abandoned hours ago, she retrieved her cell phone from her purse. A quick text let Abed and Troy know that she was fine, and spending the night elsewhere after drinking a bit too much. If they assumed that she was staying with Britta (as she had done once or twice before) that was fine.

She yawned again, and Jeff returned, presenting her with a pair of his sweats to change into to sleep. She eyed them critically, and then held them up in front of her, before shaking her head at how ridiculously oversized they would be on her. Boldly, she walked past him into his bedroom, and started poking through drawers. He followed and leaned on the doorway as she rifled through his clothes before settling on a plain T-shirt and a pair of his stripy "Beetlejuice" underwear. She hauled her finds into the bathroom to change.

Jeff smiled fondly at her antics. This was brand new territory for both of them, but it felt natural in a way. He knew that no relationship was perfect, and that if it was going to work, there would be quite a few hurdles to overcome. But the old Annie, the one with the schoolgirl crush who read a bit much into things, the one he held at arms length out of fear of hurting her, she was gone. The new Annie was willing to open up to him, hear his own confessions, and self confident enough to raid his underwear drawer and claim a pair for her own. He still could hurt her, and she was in a darker place right now. He had still failed as a crusading lawyer, and was reduced to being a professor at a toilet of a school with the intent helping turn it into somewhere to be proud of. It was a daunting if not impossible task, but as he lay down, the thought of the now woman in the bathroom made it seem worth the attempt. She believed in him, and was his chance to prove that a Winger could give someone something better than heartbreak and misery, that a relationship was not such a scary proposition. For some reason she believed he was a good person, and was willing to risk her heart and happiness to him. Jeff didn't intend to let her down.

When she returned, her own neatly folded clothes in her arms, he was in bed. He folded down the sheets for her, and as she slid in next to him, apologized for the distinct lack of extra pillows or stuffed animals. She rolled her eyes and proclaimed that she would just have to settle for slumming it and cuddle him instead. She molded herself to his body, enjoying the feel of his famed abs against her back, and wrapping his arm around her stomach with her own. It was amazing how different things were now from a mere eight hours ago. Her conflict with Abed and Troy was still there, her crappy job, and her use of pills still a sign of her weakness. This thing with Jeff was new and fragile, and could potentially fall apart like Troy and Britta did. The Save Greendale Committee and Jeff's new teaching job could end in disaster. But right now, she was curled up next to a man who cared about her, wanted to protect her, and found her desirable. They loved each other like friends, like family, and quite possibly as more. For her, he could be a rock, an anchor as she drifted through the difficulties of life. As she lay against his hard body and closed her eyes, for the first time in months, she looked forwards to the dawn.


End file.
